National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 1
Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the idiots house.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

The chicken
Userlevel 1
What is the definition of an agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there's a dog.......😁
Userlevel 1
A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy.

But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy......ba dum tish.
Userlevel 1
How do you cook black and white animals? In a ‘pan duh!’
Userlevel 1
I once had a pet racing snail, he was a bit shy, he soon came out of his shell, but now he's a bit Sluggish!!
Userlevel 1
In a supermarket and bumped in to a old friend, i said what you doing ? He said im looking for my wife . I said so am i . I said what does she look like ?
He said blond hair big boobs, big butt and long legs . He said what about yours ? I said forget her lets find yours!!!
Userlevel 1
What do you call a three legged donkey?

Wonkey!
Userlevel 1
What do fish like to play when they get bored ?
'Salom sez '
Userlevel 2
Why did the picture go to jail?
.....because it was framed
Userlevel 1
Two monkeys drawing a bath, one jumps in and says "ooh ah ah ah ah" the other says "put some cold in then!" 😁
Userlevel 1
Got in to my classic car and reversed it out of the drive. It really tock me back
Userlevel 2
What did the ocean say to the shore?
nothing it just waved
Userlevel 1
what did the snowman say to the other snowman? can you smell carrots !!!
Userlevel 2
Why do bananas need sunscreen?
Because they peel
Userlevel 2
A lady came into a bank and asked me to check her balanced, so I pushed her over.
Userlevel 2
My bus told me to have a good day. So I went home.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea?

Denis.
Userlevel 2
What’s brown and sticky?
a stick
Userlevel 1
What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce?


Chicken caesar salad!
Userlevel 1
I went to the doctor because I had a cough.

She said "You've got the flu, bronchitis, and onomatopoeia."

"What's onomatopoeia?" I asked.

"It's exactly what it sounds like", she replied.
Userlevel 1
What do you do if you see a space man?


Park in it, man
Userlevel 2
Parallel lines have so much in common, shame they will never meet!!!
Userlevel 2
What happens when frogs park illegally?
they get toad
Userlevel 1

What does your dog and your mobile phone have in common?


They both have Collar ID...
Userlevel 1
Lad comes running in the room says " dad there's a man at the door with a bald head"....dad says "tell hom to go away son... I've already got one !"

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