National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 1
A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman “I’m lost! Have you seen my dad?”

The barman looks up and says “I don’t know; what does he look like?”
Userlevel 1
My girlfriend has always wanted a breast reduction so I paid for it...

...she's only got the 2 now
Userlevel 2
Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!
Userlevel 1
What did the Elephant say to the naked man?
How can you eat with that?
Userlevel 1
I’ve started a business building boats in my attic. Sails are through the roof ⛵️
Userlevel 1
So, I was in my room and I saw a group of 10 ants scurrying around frantically. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box. This technically makes me their landlord, and they're my tenants.
Userlevel 2
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick!
Userlevel 1
What did they call the judge who had no thumbs....Justice Fingers....
Userlevel 1
Two dinosaurs hiding from Tyrannosaurus Rex. First one says to second Doyouthinkhesaurus?
Userlevel 1
My dog's got no dictionary.
How does he spell awful?
Userlevel 1
Why was the mobile phone looking so relaxed?

It had just received a text massage!
Userlevel 2
Whats brown and steams out of cowes

IoW ferry!
Userlevel 2
Whats pink and hard in the morning?

The FT Crossword!
Userlevel 2
Did you know that 85.71% of dwarves aren't Happy?
Userlevel 2
Whats pink and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas?

Your head!
Userlevel 2
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A corrot!
Userlevel 1

The ice cream man was found dead inside his van. Covered in Hundreds & Thousands, Sprinkles, Chocolate drops and a Flake.

Police believe he may of topped himself.
Userlevel 2
Two parrots standing on a perch and one says "Can you smell fish?"
Userlevel 1
What do you call a mushroom comedian?

Fun - Guy
Userlevel 1
My mate David lost his ID, now he is Dav.
Userlevel 2
Two goldfish in a tank and one says "You go up top and I'll steer"
Why did the peanut get arrested?
because they got a-salted
Userlevel 1
What's brown and very sticky....?...... A stick!

Here have a Fanta.... Coz that joke was Fanta-stick!
Userlevel 1
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

he just needed a little space
Userlevel 1
what breed of dog jumps higher than a building?
Any because buildings don't jump!

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