National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 2
'Do not trust quotes you see on the Internet', Abraham Lincoln, 1862.
Userlevel 2
What's green, got six legs and if it jumped out of a tree, it would kill you?

A snooker table.
Userlevel 2
What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.
Userlevel 1
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Userlevel 1
Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
—where you left it
Userlevel 2
What do you call a woman who throws her bill on to the fire?

Bernadette!
Userlevel 1
I said "how long will my spaghetti be?"

The waiter said "I don't know, we never measure it."
Userlevel 1
What did the guy say when he walked into a bar?
"Ouch!"
Userlevel 1
A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?” 🐴🤣
Userlevel 1
What did mommy corn say to baby corn??
wheres popcorn 😂
Userlevel 1
Did you know you can now buy tomato sauce and baked beans online?

It's the benefit of Heinz site....
Userlevel 1


What was humpty Dumpty wearing when he fell off the wall?
A shell suit 😂😂😂
Userlevel 1
What do you call a star wars wookie who makes pots with clay and a magic wand?

Hairy Potter
Userlevel 1
Why do orphans go to church?

its the only place they get to call anyone father
Userlevel 2
What do you call two men standing in the window?

Kurt and Rod
Userlevel 2
My wife says I should be more relaxed about unimportant details.

I'm starting tomorrow at 10:27:02 BST.
Userlevel 1
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a husband and wife who go fishing?
Rod and Annette
Userlevel 1
My boss told me to have a good day,
So i went home.
Userlevel 2
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Flop
Userlevel 3
What do you call a Bee hive with no exits?


Unbelievable.
Userlevel 1
My mum told me follow your dreams,
So i went back to bed.
Userlevel 1
I got a new mobile phone for my wife.
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Userlevel 1
What’s brass and sounds like Tom Jones?


Trombones
Userlevel 1
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off

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