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iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

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National Joke Day Competition - Closed

I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I slowly got over it.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The shopkeeper counted out exactly 13 bees and gave them to me. I said "you've given me one too many". He replied "oh, that last one is a freebie".

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Dad: Do you know where that potato peeling thingy is? Son: She left you two days ago.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Have you been advised to walk 500 miles, and then to walk 500 more. If so, you could be entitled to compensation. Call the pro-claimers now on...

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

A Mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said Uno, Dose, and then disappeared without a trace.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

What's the opposite of coffee? Sneezy!

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Why did the blind man fall into the well? He coudn't see that well.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

At first I thought it was great dating an archaeologist. Then I found out she was a gold digger and her future lies in ruins.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

You know which animal kills the most people in the world? The hepatitis bee.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Ribbed condoms are a rip off - they don't even taste of ribs.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

My least favourite colour is purple. I hate it more than blue and red combined.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

"Do you know how much it is to rent a church singing group?" "Do you mean a choir?" "OK, do you know how much it is to acquire a church singing group?"

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

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National Joke Day Competition - Closed

My auntie Marge has been ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Policeman: "I'm here to tell you that your son has burned down the school" Parents: "you mean arson?" Policeman: "Yes, your son"

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

My mate told me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said may-be....

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

My wife asked me if I think our kids are spoiled. I said, no, I think all kids smell like that.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

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National Joke Day Competition - Closed

My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle. Strange surname, but she tortoise well.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming.

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other!

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!" Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife."

iD MobileiD Mobile Employee

published in Articles and competitions.

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

A policeman stops a car... Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you taking it and what do you do for a living? Miner: Mine

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