National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 2
Did you know that 85.71% of dwarves aren't Happy?
Userlevel 2
Whats pink and hard in the morning?

The FT Crossword!
Userlevel 2
Whats brown and steams out of cowes

IoW ferry!
Userlevel 1
Why was the mobile phone looking so relaxed?

It had just received a text massage!
Userlevel 1
My dog's got no dictionary.
How does he spell awful?
Userlevel 1
Two dinosaurs hiding from Tyrannosaurus Rex. First one says to second Doyouthinkhesaurus?
Userlevel 1
What did they call the judge who had no thumbs....Justice Fingers....
Userlevel 2
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick!
Userlevel 1
So, I was in my room and I saw a group of 10 ants scurrying around frantically. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box. This technically makes me their landlord, and they're my tenants.
Userlevel 1
I’ve started a business building boats in my attic. Sails are through the roof ⛵️
Userlevel 1
What did the Elephant say to the naked man?
How can you eat with that?
Userlevel 2
Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!
Userlevel 1
My girlfriend has always wanted a breast reduction so I paid for it...

...she's only got the 2 now
Userlevel 1
A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman “I’m lost! Have you seen my dad?”

The barman looks up and says “I don’t know; what does he look like?”
Userlevel 1
Lad comes running in the room says " dad there's a man at the door with a bald head"....dad says "tell hom to go away son... I've already got one !"
Userlevel 1

What does your dog and your mobile phone have in common?


They both have Collar ID...
Userlevel 2
What happens when frogs park illegally?
they get toad
Userlevel 2
Parallel lines have so much in common, shame they will never meet!!!
Userlevel 1
What do you do if you see a space man?


Park in it, man
Userlevel 1
I went to the doctor because I had a cough.

She said "You've got the flu, bronchitis, and onomatopoeia."

"What's onomatopoeia?" I asked.

"It's exactly what it sounds like", she replied.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce?


Chicken caesar salad!
Userlevel 2
What’s brown and sticky?
a stick
Userlevel 1
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea?

Denis.
Userlevel 2
My bus told me to have a good day. So I went home.
Userlevel 2
A lady came into a bank and asked me to check her balanced, so I pushed her over.

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