National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

Show first post

338 replies

Userlevel 1

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Userlevel 1
I actually got a signal with ID mobile. Just kidding! 😂
Userlevel 1
Patient: Doctor, there is a strawberry growing out of my head. Doctor: Just put some cream on it!
Userlevel 1
I don't often tell dad jokes but when I do he laughs
Userlevel 1
I was just mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
Userlevel 1
Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.

Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

You probably had to be there, right?

So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.

Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.

Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
Userlevel 1
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneeded a poo!
Userlevel 1
The Lord said to John “come fourth and you will receive eternal life”
John came fifth, and won a £5 book voucher
Userlevel 2
What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror??

Halloumi 😄😄
Userlevel 1
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints
Userlevel 2
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised :)
Userlevel 1
What's green and isn't very heavy?

Light green.
Userlevel 2
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Reply


Why iD Mobile?