National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 1
Two dinosaurs hiding from Tyrannosaurus Rex. First one says to second Doyouthinkhesaurus?
Userlevel 4
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle. Strange surname, but she tortoise well.
Userlevel 1
My dog's got no dictionary.
How does he spell awful?
Userlevel 1
A donkey and a zebra had a sprinting race. The zebra won. The donkey said: "It's not fair! My opponant had fancy workout clothes!"
Userlevel 1
Why was the mobile phone looking so relaxed?

It had just received a text massage!
Userlevel 1
Everyone laughed when I said I was going to be a stand-up comedian... they're not laughing now!
Userlevel 2
Whats brown and steams out of cowes

IoW ferry!
Userlevel 2
Whats pink and hard in the morning?

The FT Crossword!
Userlevel 2
Did you know that 85.71% of dwarves aren't Happy?
Userlevel 4
Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!"
Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife."
Userlevel 2
Whats pink and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas?

Your head!
Userlevel 4
A policeman stops a car...
Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you taking it and what do you do for a living?
Miner: Mine
Userlevel 2
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A corrot!
Userlevel 4
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
You use spring water.
Userlevel 1

The ice cream man was found dead inside his van. Covered in Hundreds & Thousands, Sprinkles, Chocolate drops and a Flake.

Police believe he may of topped himself.
Userlevel 4
My wife hates it when our next door neighbour sunbathes topless in her garden. Personally I’m on the fence.
Userlevel 2
Two parrots standing on a perch and one says "Can you smell fish?"
Userlevel 4
Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!
Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a mushroom comedian?

Fun - Guy
Userlevel 1
My mate David lost his ID, now he is Dav.
Userlevel 2
Two goldfish in a tank and one says "You go up top and I'll steer"
Userlevel 1
What's brown and very sticky....?...... A stick!

Here have a Fanta.... Coz that joke was Fanta-stick!
Userlevel 4
Two cannibals eating a clown - one says "hey, does this taste funny to you?"
Userlevel 1
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

he just needed a little space
Userlevel 3
What was John's son's name? Johnson!!!

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