National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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339 replies

Userlevel 1
what breed of dog jumps higher than a building?
Any because buildings don't jump!
Userlevel 3
What was Williams son name? Williamson
Userlevel 2
'Do not trust quotes you see on the Internet', Abraham Lincoln, 1862.
Userlevel 2
What's green, got six legs and if it jumped out of a tree, it would kill you?

A snooker table.
Userlevel 3
What was Adams son's name? Adamson!!!
Userlevel 2
What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.
Userlevel 1
I went for my first flying lesson last week, however my instructor didn't turn up so I had to wing it.
Userlevel 1
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Userlevel 1
Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
—where you left it
Userlevel 3
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
🤣🤣🤣
Userlevel 2
What do you call a woman who throws her bill on to the fire?

Bernadette!
Userlevel 1
I said "how long will my spaghetti be?"

The waiter said "I don't know, we never measure it."
Userlevel 1
What did the guy say when he walked into a bar?
"Ouch!"
Userlevel 3
Why are Pirates called Pirates????

Because they ARRRR...
😂😂😂
Userlevel 1
A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?” 🐴🤣
Userlevel 3
Knock, Knock.....
Who's there?
Eileen Dover.....
Eileen Dover who?
Eileen Dover your fence and broke it.....
Userlevel 1
What did mommy corn say to baby corn??
wheres popcorn 😂
Userlevel 1
Did you know you can now buy tomato sauce and baked beans online?

It's the benefit of Heinz site....
Userlevel 1


What was humpty Dumpty wearing when he fell off the wall?
A shell suit 😂😂😂
Userlevel 1
What is invisible and smells of worms?

A bird’s fart.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a star wars wookie who makes pots with clay and a magic wand?

Hairy Potter
Userlevel 2
What do you call two men standing in the window?

Kurt and Rod
Userlevel 2
My wife says I should be more relaxed about unimportant details.

I'm starting tomorrow at 10:27:02 BST.
Userlevel 1
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
Userlevel 1
My boss told me to have a good day,
So i went home.

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