Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.
Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
You probably had to be there, right?
So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.
Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.
Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
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What's green, got six legs and if it jumped out of a tree, it would kill you?
A snooker table.
A snooker table.
Userlevel 1
Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
—where you left it
—where you left it
Userlevel 2
What do you call a woman who throws her bill on to the fire?
Bernadette!
Bernadette!
Userlevel 1
I said "how long will my spaghetti be?"
The waiter said "I don't know, we never measure it."
The waiter said "I don't know, we never measure it."
Userlevel 1
Did you know you can now buy tomato sauce and baked beans online?
It's the benefit of Heinz site....
It's the benefit of Heinz site....
What do you call a star wars wookie who makes pots with clay and a magic wand?
Hairy Potter
Hairy Potter
Userlevel 1
Why do orphans go to church?
its the only place they get to call anyone father
its the only place they get to call anyone father
Userlevel 2
What do you call two men standing in the window?
Kurt and Rod
Kurt and Rod
My wife says I should be more relaxed about unimportant details.
I'm starting tomorrow at 10:27:02 BST.
I'm starting tomorrow at 10:27:02 BST.
Userlevel 1
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
He knew a shortcut.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a husband and wife who go fishing?
Rod and Annette
Rod and Annette
Userlevel 1
My boss told me to have a good day,
So i went home.
So i went home.
Userlevel 2
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Flop
Phillipe Flop
Userlevel 3
Userlevel 1
My mum told me follow your dreams,
So i went back to bed.
So i went back to bed.
Userlevel 1
I got a new mobile phone for my wife.
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off
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