National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 1
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long ??
Because then it would be a foot 😂
Userlevel 3
What network is Luke Skywalker on? Yodafone.
Userlevel 1
Whats Rupert Bears middle name ? —————————————-The.
Userlevel 1
How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
Paint it's toe nails red.
Userlevel 1
How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
You Pokemon
Userlevel 1
What do you call pig that does karate?
Pork chop
Userlevel 1
I took my children to the local zoo. There was only one dog there. It was a shih tzu.
Userlevel 1
What sort of cheese do you use to hide a horse?



Marscapone
Userlevel 1
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."
Userlevel 2
I put all of my money into a new 'Crab In Your Pocket' business but it's not going half as well as I thought it would - I'm starting to feel the pinch.
Userlevel 1
Q: why did the jelly baby go to school?
A: because he wanted to be a smartie 🤭
Userlevel 1
I used to run a dating agency for chickens. Had to stop though as I struggled to make hens meet
Userlevel 1
How does a farmer count his cows?
With a cow-culator!
Userlevel 2
I've just started a new business making locks for mouse doors. Very low key.
Userlevel 1
What is an ig?



An igloo without a loo.
Userlevel 2
Heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He lay awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Userlevel 1
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg!
Userlevel 1
In this weather I feel sorry for people who work in Gregg's.

They must be baking....
Userlevel 1
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him into the microwave until his Bill Withers!
Userlevel 2
Whenever I compete on a horse, I have a terrible fear of falling off as I jump the fences. I have other fears but that's my overriding concern.
Userlevel 1
Q) What time do people normally go to the dentist..?

A) About tooth hurty..🤣🤣🤣
Userlevel 1
What's green and hard?
A frog with a tattoo.
Userlevel 2
I dreamt last night that I wrote Lord Of The Rings. I'd never have known but the wife said that I was Tolkien in my sleep.
Userlevel 1
I took the kids to the zoo the other day.

It wasn't a great zoo, they only had a single exhibit - it was a small dog, it was a Shih Tzu.
Userlevel 1


A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been
discovered in Egypt ................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh
Roche...

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