Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.
Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
You probably had to be there, right?
So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.
Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.
Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
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Userlevel 4
I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The shopkeeper counted out exactly 13 bees and gave them to me. I said "you've given me one too many". He replied "oh, that last one is a freebie".
Userlevel 4
I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I slowly got over it.
Userlevel 1
Why did the banana take the fig to the party? Because he couldn't get a date.
Userlevel 1
Three weeks ago, I sent my hearing aids in for repair.
I've heard nothing since.
I've heard nothing since.
Userlevel 1
- (⌐■_■) We have information that someone here is possessed by an Owl
- (⌐■_■) We don't know but we . . . wait a second
Userlevel 1
Why didn't the cheese get sliced? Because it had grater plans!
Userlevel 1
Which side of a robin has more feathers?
The outside!
The outside!
Userlevel 1
How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a push.
Give it a push.
Userlevel 1
What do the secret service say when the president is under attack? Donald, Duck!
Userlevel 1
working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
Userlevel 1
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win ?
But no pun in ten did
But no pun in ten did
Userlevel 1
What wobbles when it flies?
A jellycopter!
A jellycopter!
Userlevel 1
What did the German Policeman say to his tummy?
”You are under a vest!”
”You are under a vest!”
Userlevel 1
What did the fish say when he unexpectedly swam into a wall under the water?
...Dam!
...Dam!
Userlevel 1
Did you hear about when the mobile phone died.......
The funeral was very sad .........
But the reception was excellent
The funeral was very sad .........
But the reception was excellent
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