National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 4
I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The shopkeeper counted out exactly 13 bees and gave them to me. I said "you've given me one too many". He replied "oh, that last one is a freebie".
Userlevel 4
I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I slowly got over it.
Userlevel 1
Why did the banana take the fig to the party? Because he couldn't get a date.
Userlevel 1
Three weeks ago, I sent my hearing aids in for repair.
I've heard nothing since.
Userlevel 1
  • (⌐■_■) We have information that someone here is possessed by an Owl
⁕ (●∀●) Who ??
  • (⌐■_■) We don't know but we . . . wait a second
Userlevel 1
Why didn't the cheese get sliced? Because it had grater plans!
Userlevel 1
What did the snail say when it had a ride on the back of a tortoise?
Wheeeee!
Userlevel 1
Which side of a robin has more feathers?
The outside!
Userlevel 1
What's invisible and smells like carrots?


Bunny Farts 🐇💨🥕
Userlevel 1
Don't sit on that chair you might brexit
Userlevel 1
How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a push.
Userlevel 1
What do the secret service say when the president is under attack? Donald, Duck!
Userlevel 1
What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

- Underlay, Underlay!
Userlevel 1
Don't sit on that chair you might benefit
Userlevel 1
Where do naughty rainbows go ....... PRISM🤣
Userlevel 1
What does "The Rock" do when he needs a wee ..... He Dwaynes his Johnson !!!!! 🤣🤣
Userlevel 1
working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
Userlevel 1
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win ?

But no pun in ten did
Userlevel 1
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Hallou-mi
Userlevel 1
What wobbles when it flies?
A jellycopter!
Userlevel 1
What does a pirate say on their 80th birthday?
"Aye matey!"
Userlevel 1
What did the German Policeman say to his tummy?
”You are under a vest!”
Userlevel 1
What did the fish say when he unexpectedly swam into a wall under the water?
...Dam!
Userlevel 1
Did you hear about when the mobile phone died.......




The funeral was very sad .........



But the reception was excellent
Userlevel 1
Name a fictional character half man half beast? Buffalo Bill.

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