Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.
Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
You probably had to be there, right?
So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.
Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.
Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
Page 2 / 14
Userlevel 1
It's sad, but all the good jokes about gas argon
I went to post some classical cds in a padded envelope. I told the missus I'd be Bach in a jiffy!!
Userlevel 1
Whats the difference between a duck?
one of its legs are both the same
one of its legs are both the same
Userlevel 1
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Userlevel 1
What did the German Policeman say to his tummy?
”You are under a vest!”
”You are under a vest!”
Userlevel 1
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the idiots house.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken
to get to the idiots house.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken
Two monkeys drawing a bath, one jumps in and says "ooh ah ah ah ah" the other says "put some cold in then!" 😁
Userlevel 1
Lad comes running in the room says " dad there's a man at the door with a bald head"....dad says "tell hom to go away son... I've already got one !"
Userlevel 4
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming.
Userlevel 4
I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other!
Userlevel 4
I went to the doctors recently
He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”
I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”
He said, “No. Fatty, don’t eat anything."
He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”
I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”
He said, “No. Fatty, don’t eat anything."
Userlevel 4
If you boil a funny bone does it become a laughing stock?
Userlevel 1
Why do orphans go to church?
its the only place they get to call anyone father
its the only place they get to call anyone father
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a husband and wife who go fishing?
Rod and Annette
Rod and Annette
Userlevel 1
I got a new mobile phone for my wife.
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off
Page 2 / 14
Reply
Sign up
Already have an account? Login
Log in / Register
No account yet? It's really easy to register here
Or log in to the iD Community using your Facebook account
Log in with Facebookor
Enter your username or e-mail address. We'll send you an e-mail with instructions to reset your password.
Why iD
Mobile?
- Data Rollover
- Bill Capping
- Roaming
- Find out more