National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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I’ve just burned my Hawaiian pizza.

I should have put it on aloha temperature...
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What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A Wonky.

What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
A Winky Wonky.

What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye, that sings songs by the Rolling Stones?
A Honky Tonky Winky Wonky.
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I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.
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When I was younger I was very addicted to the Hokey Cokey! But I turned myself around, and that's what it's all about!
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What do you say to the Zen Master hot dog seller?
Make me one with everything
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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? Pointless
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What do Henry the 8th and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name
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I've watched Mary Poppins so many times I started getting problems with my sight. I went to the doctors to get it checked out, apparently I had umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.
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I don't know if this is a proper joke but here I go...

Ask Google why the Corn-flakes were invented...

Advice, avoid any liquid ingestion while proceeding
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My new years resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant!

Roll on next year!
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Which is the most interesting thing about Slough?
The bus to London
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Why was the mobile phone wearing glasses?
Because it lost its contacts
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2 monkeys were in the bath and one said “oooh ooh ooh, aahh aahh aahh”, so the other one said “ we’ll put some cold in then” !
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Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory? There was de Brie everywhere
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled egg for breakfast.
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call somebody with a newspaper on their head?

Russell!
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What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?...
-a head banger! 😂
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What did Jay-Z call his future wife before they got married?

His Feyoncé 🙂
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I actually got a signal with ID mobile. Just kidding! 😂
So true!! 🤣🤣
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Whats is the best selling cook book in Vietnam?

100 Ways to wok your dog.
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The Norwegian navy vessels all have a large bar code printed on the side of the hull, this is for when
they sail into port, so that they can Scandinavian.
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What type of bees make milk? Boobies.
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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
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A millennial walks into a micropub and asks the bar man for a job. The bar man says "no".

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