Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.
Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
You probably had to be there, right?
So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.
Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.
Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
Page 5 / 14
Userlevel 1
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A Wonky.
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
A Winky Wonky.
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye, that sings songs by the Rolling Stones?
A Honky Tonky Winky Wonky.
A Wonky.
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
A Winky Wonky.
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye, that sings songs by the Rolling Stones?
A Honky Tonky Winky Wonky.
Userlevel 1
I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.
Userlevel 1
When I was younger I was very addicted to the Hokey Cokey! But I turned myself around, and that's what it's all about!
Userlevel 1
What do you say to the Zen Master hot dog seller?
Make me one with everything
Make me one with everything
Userlevel 1
What do you call a unicorn without a horn? Pointless
Userlevel 1
What do Henry the 8th and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name
The same middle name
I've watched Mary Poppins so many times I started getting problems with my sight. I went to the doctors to get it checked out, apparently I had umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.
I don't know if this is a proper joke but here I go...
Ask Google why the Corn-flakes were invented...
Advice, avoid any liquid ingestion while proceeding
Ask Google why the Corn-flakes were invented...
Advice, avoid any liquid ingestion while proceeding
Userlevel 1
Which is the most interesting thing about Slough?
The bus to London
The bus to London
Userlevel 1
Why was the mobile phone wearing glasses?
Because it lost its contacts
Because it lost its contacts
2 monkeys were in the bath and one said “oooh ooh ooh, aahh aahh aahh”, so the other one said “ we’ll put some cold in then” !
Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory? There was de Brie everywhere
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled egg for breakfast.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled egg for breakfast.
Userlevel 1
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
The Norwegian navy vessels all have a large bar code printed on the side of the hull, this is for when
they sail into port, so that they can Scandinavian.
they sail into port, so that they can Scandinavian.
Userlevel 1
A millennial walks into a micropub and asks the bar man for a job. The bar man says "no".
Page 5 / 14
Reply
Sign up
Already have an account? Login
Log in / Register
No account yet? It's really easy to register here
Or log in to the iD Community using your Facebook account
Log in with Facebookor
Enter your username or e-mail address. We'll send you an e-mail with instructions to reset your password.