National Joke Day Competition - Closed

National Joke Day Competition - Closed

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Userlevel 1
What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

whats blue and fluffy?
...
pink fluff holding its breath!!
Userlevel 1
Apparently you can't use 'Beef Stew' as a password.

It's not stroganoff!
Userlevel 1
Skepta told me don't watch nothin'
So I went home and smashed my TV
Userlevel 1
What do you call a budgie that's been over by a Lawn Mower?


Shredded Tweet!
Userlevel 1
What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

😁
Userlevel 1
What's green and isn't very heavy?

Light green.
Userlevel 1

What is a cat's favorite book?

The Great Catsby.

4. Why don't cats play poker?

Too many cheetahs.
Userlevel 1
What do you call a choir boy?
Sam-sung.

What do you call a choir boy on the moon?
Sam-sung galaxy. (I asked my partner and he said Sam-sung galaxy note - I like this too 😂).

*these aren't that bad considering I made them up myself at 11pm tonight * 😐
Userlevel 1
Why did the meatballs tell the
Spaghetti go to bed

it was pasta bednight
Userlevel 1
“ A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says “That will be €2.49.” The duck says

“Put it on my bill”.
Userlevel 1
“Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking batter acid. The other one was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.”

.
Userlevel 1
What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist? Tooth hurty 🤣😂
Userlevel 3
Oldest Joke I know... Why did the Orange stop half way up the hill?... Because he ran out of juice!
Userlevel 1
Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.

Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

You probably had to be there, right?

So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.

Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.

Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
Userlevel 1
Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.

Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

You probably had to be there, right?

So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.

Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.

Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
Userlevel 1
is this where i can enter the joke competition?--if not where? if yes how?
Userlevel 1
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?... a Receding Hare-line
Userlevel 1
Patient: Doctor, there is a strawberry growing out of my head. Doctor: Just put some cream on it!
Userlevel 1
Why was the cheese lopsided?

...

Because it only had one Stilton!
Userlevel 1
What did one eye say to the other eye?

...

There's something between us that smells...!
Userlevel 1
I went to library and said to the assistant "I don't know the title, but do you have the book about how to cope if you're not well endowed".

She looked at the computer and said "I Don't Think It's In Yet" and I said "That's the one".
Userlevel 1
Why can't a nose be twelve inches long? ............ Because then it would be a foot.
Userlevel 1
Name a fictional character half man half beast? Buffalo Bill.
Userlevel 1
What did the handsome male bird say to the pretty lady bird? "send me a tweet"
Userlevel 1
Did you hear about when the mobile phone died.......




The funeral was very sad .........



But the reception was excellent

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