Skip to main content
Blog

National Joke Day Competition.

  • August 15, 2019
  • 339 replies
  • 14916 views
National Joke Day Competition.
Show first post
This topic has been closed for replies.

339 replies

Gremlin
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
2 monkeys were in the bath and one said “oooh ooh ooh, aahh aahh aahh”, so the other one said “ we’ll put some cold in then” !

SimonTisseyre
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory? There was de Brie everywhere

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Brianxyz
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled egg for breakfast.

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

ERJ
Active Contributor
  • Active Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
What do you call somebody with a newspaper on their head?

Russell!

FranciscoDP
Active Contributor
  • Active Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?...
-a head banger! 😂

yumcoconut
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
What did Jay-Z call his future wife before they got married?

His Feyoncé 🙂

LWill123
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
I actually got a signal with ID mobile. Just kidding! 😂
So true!! 🤣🤣

Krusty
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Whats is the best selling cook book in Vietnam?

100 Ways to wok your dog.

Krusty
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
The Norwegian navy vessels all have a large bar code printed on the side of the hull, this is for when
they sail into port, so that they can Scandinavian.

Lorraine26
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
What type of bees make milk? Boobies.

MummaK
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
A millennial walks into a micropub and asks the bar man for a job. The bar man says "no".

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Who’s the coolest guy who works at the hospital? The ultrasound guy.
Who the coolest guy when the ultrasound guy is on holiday? The hip replacement guy

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019


Kevbanham
Active Contributor
  • Active Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
I swopped our bed the other day for a trampoline... The wife hit the roof

kinsonben
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Two monkeys in a bath and one turns to the other and says"Ooh Ooh Aah Aah.." and the other one says "put some more cold water in then..

Kasey
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
So I went to the doctors the other day and it was at the top of a very tall building and I said I have got a very bad sore throat and runny nose and the doctor said ‘flu’ and I said no I came up in the lift! 😂😂😂

Krusty
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
I stayed up all last night wondering where the sun goes, then it dawned on me.

  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Police have raided Kermit's lily pad and found 500 indecent images of Miss Piggy.
A spokesman said it was the worst case of frogs porn he'd ever seen

Fortnite24
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn’t pay my electric bill. It was the darkest day of my life

Bluewkdplz
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.

He's Espanyol.

Grutbutt65
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
Why were the 2 flies playing football in the saucer?

They were practising for the cup!

Krusty
New Contributor
  • New Contributor
  • August 16, 2019
The fire brigade got called out to a Italian Sausage factory.
When they got there, they found it was a false salami.