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Bronze
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August 15, 2019
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National Joke Day Competition.

  • August 15, 2019
  • 339 replies
  • 15233 views
National Joke Day Competition.
Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.

Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

You probably had to be there, right?

So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.

Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.

Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
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    339 replies

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    August 16, 2019
    Police have raided Kermit's lily pad and found 500 indecent images of Miss Piggy.
    A spokesman said it was the worst case of frogs porn he'd ever seen
    Fortnite24
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    August 16, 2019
    I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn’t pay my electric bill. It was the darkest day of my life
    Bluewkdplz
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    August 16, 2019
    My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.

    He's Espanyol.
    Grutbutt65
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    August 16, 2019
    Why were the 2 flies playing football in the saucer?

    They were practising for the cup!
    Krusty
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    August 16, 2019
    The fire brigade got called out to a Italian Sausage factory.
    When they got there, they found it was a false salami.
    Grutbutt65
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    August 16, 2019
    I want to tell u a dirty joke?

    The boy fell in the mud!
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
    For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
    Aryapala
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    August 16, 2019
    Why does Santa have one big red ball? He only comes once a year.
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    August 16, 2019
    Met this girl and took her home to meet my parents, my dad whispered to me "where the heck did you find her? She's cross eyed, bow legged and has buck teeth," I answered "there's no need to whisper dad she's deaf."
    acacia2000
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    August 16, 2019
    With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen Twenty pounds all crumpled up?”
    “No,” said her husband?
    She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled 20 pound note.
    He took the crumpled Twenty pound note from her and smiled approvingly.
    She then asked him, “Have you ever seen Fifty pound all crumpled up?”
    “Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
    She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties… and pulled out a crumpled Fifty pound note.
    He took the crumpled Fifty pound note and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
    “Now,” she said, “have you ever seen 25,000 pounds all crumpled up?”
    He said “No!”trying to hide his excitement and arousal.
    She said….. “Darling, go check the garage.”