Skip to main content
PavD
Bronze
 Contributor
Bronze
 Contributor
August 15, 2019
Blog

National Joke Day Competition.

  • August 15, 2019
  • 339 replies
  • 15233 views
National Joke Day Competition.
Are you having a laugh?
Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!
Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.

Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

You probably had to be there, right?

So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.

Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.

Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.
    This topic has been closed for replies.

    339 replies

    MickjustMick
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    I went to post some classical cds in a padded envelope. I told the missus I'd be Bach in a jiffy!!
    Ncltony
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    What does a cow with no lips say?

    ”Ooooooooo”
    predm4n
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    Whats Brown & Sticky?

    A Stick 😙
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    Sone astronauts were planning a trip to the sun...
    'Won't it be too warm' asked a bystander

    'No' replied am astronaut, "we'll go at night'
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    A Huddersfield woman stepped delicately out of the shower and slipped on the wet bathroom floor.
    Instead of falling over, her legs skidded apart causing her to do the splits and suction herself to the ceramic floor tiles.
    Stuck like a limpet to a ship's hull, she cried out for her husband.
    "Dave!!!," she yelled.
    So gulped down his can of beer and came running in.
    I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said .
    "Chuffin 'ell Love" said he as he tried to pull her up. "That's some suction, you're stuck bad I'll nip across t' road and get Fred.
    They come running back and they both try to pull the wife free.
    "Nay, we can't do it. We can't break the vacuum," said Fred
    "Lets go to Plan B."
    "Plan B?" exclaimed Dave. "What's Plan B?"
    "I go back home and get me hammer and chisel. Then we break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." Fred Replied
    "Spot on, said Dave. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits."
    "Play with her tits?" , "Not exactly a good time for that, pal ."
    "No" Dave replied, "But I reckon if I can get her aroused enough, we can slide her through inter t' kitchen where t' tiles aren't so expensive...
    Deanie473
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    I tried to catch fog yesterday.... mist! #NationalTellAJokeDay
    dan_r_00
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    i'm so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed
    dan_r_00
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    today at the bank a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over
    Wompster
    New Contributor
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    Two oranges rolling down the hill, one stopped why?
    It ran out of juice.
    New Contributor
    August 16, 2019
    How do you make an apple puff?

    Chase it round the garden