World Laughter Day

World Laughter Day

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Userlevel 2

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get his old age pension.

Do you get it?

 

 

no of course you don’t. you’re not old enough yet. 

Userlevel 1

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick. Ha! Ha!Ha!

I just got a new job making plastic Draculas.

There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second Count.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A. To get to the other slide 

Userlevel 1

Two elephants walk off a cliff.

 

Boom Boom.

Userlevel 1

 

Userlevel 1

Skeleton goes into a pub  the landlord says what can I get you ! Skeleton says a pint and a mop please 

Why did the bicycle fall over

because it got too tired!!

Userlevel 1

A bloke starts his new job as a zoo keeper and is given three tasks:-

The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as everyone knows that lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both.

What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. So he hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs his spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them in to the lion enclosure.

Later that day, a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to a lioness and asks "What's the food like around here?"

The lioness replies "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"

Knock knock 

who’s there?

BOO!

Boo Who?

don’t cry it’s only a joke! 

Why should you knock on the fridge door before you open it?

…Because there might be a salad dressing!

Userlevel 1

" why did the chicken cross the road?" 

" To get to the other side 🐔"

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?    Wi’jammin

How do Bob Marley friends like their donuts? They like Jammin too

Userlevel 1

Badminton orGlastonbury!?

 

 

 

Userlevel 2
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eyedeer 🤦‍♂️

Userlevel 1

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?

There was de-Brie everywhere! 🧀 

Userlevel 1

my mate won a holiday in the Bahamas and his wife didn't want to go!!!

She did go though and I asked him, 

did Jamaica go or was ot her choice lol. 

Userlevel 1

What did the old  telephone say to to the new one ?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're too young to be engaged!!!!!!!!

😆 🤣 😂 

Userlevel 1

What would you rather be or a wasp?

Userlevel 1

Lad comes running into to his dad saying “ dad there’s a man at the door with a bald head!” dad says “ tell him to go away son, I've already got one!”

Userlevel 1

I attempted to try and catch some fog the other day but you'll never guess what happened - I mist! 😜😜

Userlevel 1

Yesterday I got in the car to drive to work, but when I turned the key it wouldn’t start. Confused, I opened the bonnet to try and see what was wrong. 
 

As I lifted the bonnet to my surprise, there was a Bat hanging from the bonnet struts. I was even more startled when he began to speak, “what a handsome man you are” he said, “you have lovely hair”. 
 

Then I realised, it was a bat flattery.

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?Sofishticated 🎀

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