Skip to main content
Blog

National Joke Day Competition.

National Joke Day Competition.
Did this article interest you or help you find an answer to your question?
71% found this helpful
Show first post
Don't miss out on the latest news and giveaways - learn how to opt-in!
This topic has been closed for comments

339 replies

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My auntie Marge has been ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Policeman: "I'm here to tell you that your son has burned down the school"
Parents: "you mean arson?"
Policeman: "Yes, your son"

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My mate told me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said may-be....

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My wife asked me if I think our kids are spoiled. I said, no, I think all kids smell like that.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle. Strange surname, but she tortoise well.

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 18, 2019
A donkey and a zebra had a sprinting race. The zebra won. The donkey said: "It's not fair! My opponant had fancy workout clothes!"

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 18, 2019
Everyone laughed when I said I was going to be a stand-up comedian... they're not laughing now!

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other!

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!"
Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife."

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
A policeman stops a car...
Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you taking it and what do you do for a living?
Miner: Mine

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
You use spring water.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My wife hates it when our next door neighbour sunbathes topless in her garden. Personally I’m on the fence.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!
Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
I went to the doctors recently
He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”
I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”
He said, “No. Fatty, don’t eat anything."

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
If you boil a funny bone does it become a laughing stock?

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Two cannibals eating a clown - one says "hey, does this taste funny to you?"

  • Active Contributor
  • 19 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What was John's son's name? Johnson!!!

  • Active Contributor
  • 19 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What was Williams son name? Williamson

  • Active Contributor
  • 19 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What was Harry's son name? Harrison!!!

  • Active Contributor
  • 19 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What was Adams son's name? Adamson!!!

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 18, 2019
I went for my first flying lesson last week, however my instructor didn't turn up so I had to wing it.

Emz
Active Contributor
  • Active Contributor
  • 5 replies
  • August 19, 2019
Jaiplum wrote:
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

🤣🤣🤣