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National Joke Day Competition.

National Joke Day Competition.
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familyguy1982
Active Contributor
  • Active Contributor
  • 30 replies
  • August 17, 2019
What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

- Underlay, Underlay!

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 17, 2019
What do the secret service say when the president is under attack? Donald, Duck!

How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a push.

Andrew Pitkeathly
Active Contributor
Andrew Pitkeathly wrote:
Don't sit on that chair you might brexit

Cla1re83
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 Contributor
  • New
 Contributor
  • 2 replies
  • August 17, 2019
What's invisible and smells like carrots?


Bunny Farts 🐇💨🥕

  • Active Contributor
  • 5 replies
  • August 17, 2019
Which side of a robin has more feathers?
The outside!

Moose
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  • New
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  • 1 reply
  • August 17, 2019
What did the snail say when it had a ride on the back of a tortoise?
Wheeeee!

  • Active Contributor
  • 11 replies
  • August 17, 2019
Why didn't the cheese get sliced? Because it had grater plans!

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 17, 2019
  • (⌐■_■) We have information that someone here is possessed by an Owl
⁕ (●∀●) Who ??
  • (⌐■_■) We don't know but we . . . wait a second

  • New
 Contributor
  • 1 reply
  • August 17, 2019
Three weeks ago, I sent my hearing aids in for repair.
I've heard nothing since.

  • Helpful
 Contributor
  • 15 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Why did the banana take the fig to the party? Because he couldn't get a date.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
I used to have a fear of speed bumps, but I slowly got over it.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The shopkeeper counted out exactly 13 bees and gave them to me. I said "you've given me one too many". He replied "oh, that last one is a freebie".

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Dad: Do you know where that potato peeling thingy is?
Son: She left you two days ago.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Have you been advised to walk 500 miles, and then to walk 500 more. If so, you could be entitled to compensation. Call the pro-claimers now on...

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
A Mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said Uno, Dose, and then disappeared without a trace.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What's the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy!

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He coudn't see that well.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
At first I thought it was great dating an archaeologist. Then I found out she was a gold digger and her future lies in ruins.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
You know which animal kills the most people in the world?
The hepatitis bee.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
Ribbed condoms are a rip off - they don't even taste of ribs.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
My least favourite colour is purple. I hate it more than blue and red combined.

  • Active Contributor
  • 31 replies
  • August 18, 2019
"Do you know how much it is to rent a church singing group?"
"Do you mean a choir?"
"OK, do you know how much it is to acquire a church singing group?"