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Are you having a laugh?

Well, you should be. Because Friday 16 August 2019 is National Joke Day, the perfect time of year to tell your favourite joke. Post it below, and you could win one of two £50 prizes!

Even if it’s an old gag, it can still be a good one. But how old, exactly? Well, the world’s oldest recorded joke can be traced back as far as 1900BC. It was a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now Southern Iraq, and believe it or not… it was a fart joke.



Here it is, but be warned, it hasn’t aged very well:

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.



You probably had to be there, right?



So come on, surely you can do better! Post your best joke, and we’ll give 2 lucky winners a £50 Curry’s voucher. It will be selected randomly.



Over to you. Make your joke absolutely hilarious, but keep it clean and free of anything that could cause offense. Are fart jokes allowed, we hear you say? We’re not sure. You can risk it - or blow if off and choose another subject. It’s up to you.



Competition deadline is midday on 23rd August. The winner will be announced on this page, and we’ll also send them a private message with details of how and when they’ll get their £50 Curry’s voucher. T&Cs apply, and they’re not even the slightest bit amusing.

A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman “I’m lost! Have you seen my dad?”



The barman looks up and says “I don’t know; what does he look like?”
My girlfriend has always wanted a breast reduction so I paid for it...



...she's only got the 2 now
Whats brown and sticky?



A stick!
What did the Elephant say to the naked man?

How can you eat with that?
I’ve started a business building boats in my attic. Sails are through the roof ⛵️
So, I was in my room and I saw a group of 10 ants scurrying around frantically. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box. This technically makes me their landlord, and they're my tenants.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?



A stick!
What did they call the judge who had no thumbs....Justice Fingers....
Two dinosaurs hiding from Tyrannosaurus Rex. First one says to second Doyouthinkhesaurus?
My dog's got no dictionary.

How does he spell awful?
Why was the mobile phone looking so relaxed?



It had just received a text massage!
Whats brown and steams out of cowes



IoW ferry!
Whats pink and hard in the morning?



The FT Crossword!
Did you know that 85.71% of dwarves aren't Happy?
Whats pink and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas?



Your head!
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?



A corrot!

The ice cream man was found dead inside his van. Covered in Hundreds & Thousands, Sprinkles, Chocolate drops and a Flake.

Police believe he may of topped himself.
Two parrots standing on a perch and one says "Can you smell fish?"
What do you call a mushroom comedian?



Fun - Guy
My mate David lost his ID, now he is Dav.
Two goldfish in a tank and one says "You go up top and I'll steer"
Why did the peanut get arrested?

because they got a-salted
What's brown and very sticky....?...... A stick!



Here have a Fanta.... Coz that joke was Fanta-stick!
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?



he just needed a little space
what breed of dog jumps higher than a building?

Any because buildings don't jump!
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